And the truth, shall set you free!!!

I share the true stories of my MS life with any person perusing my papers to show how in life I deal with the good, bad, or ugly. I want people to see that no matter their concerns, bad news medically, or just a person in a mood of constant negativity, we will make it together. My hope is that when people read my words, they feel encouragement and inspiration slathered with a thick, meaty layer of hope. They should gain the confidence to stand with their heads held high and understand they are not alone in their difficulties.

I never want my writing to sound boastful or braggadocious when I share positive stories about gifts I receive. Some have said that I share too much, but the anonymity of the Internet and my belief that no one is concerned about me say they are incorrect. I do not have secrets about my MS life, as I have shared my most embarrassing moments, and people overlooked and disregarded them. When discussing my life, the good comes with the bad, while personality, attitude, and perception make the difference, along with a dash of self-deprecation.

I told everyone how for me to move to Florida, the planets and moon aligned perfectly, while the administration of veterans helped significantly. This perfect planetary positioning has continued as I have begun receiving help in various ways, such as grants and various programs. I lived here for the first ten months with very little assistance, yet when the floodgates of aid opened, it began a torrential downpour of help. Although they are the roadblocks of the Veterans Administration, I am forced to dance across a red tape tightrope like a ballerina on opening night.

In Ohio, I often went two weeks without seeing another human, making me depressingly lonely and bored, with no way to ameliorate my unhappiness. Life moved very slowly at the time, so having more than one doctor’s appointment in a week was a rarity, let alone several in a day, like in Florida. Because I avoided the snow and cold, I clustered my appointments in late spring or early summer, avoiding the worst weather. My time in Ohio was an extremely melancholy existence filled with isolation, desolation, and starvation from human interaction.

Although the Veterans Administration is paying to have my house remodeled and helping me attain an accessible vehicle, there is a ton of work for me. There is a shocking amount of work for veterans to do their part in this accessible rehabilitation reconstruction request. As these rules change frequently and get shared rarely, keeping up by shucking and jiving while following the rules as best as possible is a laborious task. What makes things even more complicated is that the rules for all programs differ and rarely concur with each other.

So, as I sit here in Florida, there is an exhausting tug-of-war going on in my brain between not doing enough and doing too much. I lived for so long in Ohio with nothing to do. I am in my new home with five times the amount of work, making me intensely overwhelmed. Not yet have I been able to organize all my medical appointments and set them into an annual routine for convenient consistency. Depleted, drained, and weakened, and though difficult, I must carry on completing the remodeled remodification.

I say all of that to share this: I divided my time between very few things in Ohio, and the only thing I worked on was my blog. Although I ate three meals a day, nothing used up my time more than my writing as I put pen to paper ten hours every fifteen-hour day. Because of my excessive writing, I posted a blog once per week, although the quality lacked quite a bit of pizzazz. However, that was then, and now, it is a whole new ball game in Florida where there is much more to do and take up my time.

I am now in my new home state of Florida, where a smorgasbord of tasks begs my attention, pulling me away from my writing. A plethora of duties monopolizes my day, minimizing the time I can write each day. I genuinely enjoy every aspect of my writing process, so I will continue to write, but my writing may not be as good and punctual, or I am just my own worst critic. However, I am still considering writing a book. Although the idea is rolling around in my head, it is ambiguous and murky at best, so we will see what the future holds.

These times, they are a changin’