Just at the point when I think that I am not going to have anything to write about something new occurs. A bright light has been shined on someone’s ignorance and imbecility, allowing my faith in humanity to get knocked down a peg. This belief backslide of my credulity was caused by the total lack of empathy for someone. Luckily for me, in my older age, I have learned how to avoid confrontation in these silly situations.
At the fitness center where I swim, there are three rooms specifically for dressing for any form of fitness. These changing rooms are available for families or the disabled to use for preparation privacy. In all actuality, anyone can use these rooms as there is no bouncer at the door to let in only the chosen few. There are a variety of needs too many to list that cause the needed privacy of these changing rooms.
I patiently waited while eating a protein bar and talking to a physically challenged friend who also found no benefit in the men’s locker room. A woman and her daughter came out of the dressing room as they slowly gathered their belongings. She looked at the two empty rooms and then, with a curt inflection, asked me if this was the only room that I could use? This brusque tone to her query felt snarky and, for just a minute, made me question if I belonged. I said yes and then nicely explained how the other two rooms do not work for my physical needs. Can’t you use the men’s locker room she continued with her terse tone these are the family changing rooms as she emphasized the word family.
Confrontation is not suitable for my MS, so I was speechless by her inane interrogation. Thankfully my friend spoke up as he could see the look of consternation plastered on my face. He explained that the men’s locker room is not set up correctly for the needs of those of us who are disabled, making life more challenging. They went round and round as he tried to be clear and concise in his explanation to help her truly understand this problematic plight. She was done with the information dissemination, and this obdurate woman departed abruptly as her feathers seemed ruffled. I often want to ask all of the antagonists that I interact with one straightforward question. How does MY situation impact YOUR life?
Side note: Let us forget about the disabled for a minute and focus specifically on the original purpose of the family changing room. The initial reasoning was to help parents who had children from the opposite sex in the locker rooms. These rooms are incredibly beneficial to moms with sons and dads with daughters since they could not go in the standard locker rooms. That means that since she had only her granddaughter-by, her logic-she should have been using the women’s locker room.
There was one time when another woman saw me in the passenger seat in an accessible parking space. The handicap placard was sitting on the driver side dash, and as she walked by, spoke into the open car window and complained about its positioning. She vociferously declared that the handicap placard legally needs to be hung on the rearview mirror. I then corrected her and explained that the law states that it needs to be hanging on the mirror or placed on the driver side dash. She just walked away without apologizing or acknowledging that she was wrong and learned something.
I understand that she did not know the law and should have said nothing, yet she felt entitled to say something. I again pose my query: How does MY situation impact YOUR life? I have seen people question those who park in accessible parking spots many times saying you are walking fine why are you using handicap parking? If you do not know that person’s health situation or abilities, you will inevitably embarrass yourself if you speak out of turn.
I think that in America, people feel overly entitled and involve themselves in things of which they know nothing. For those who want to be helpful to those who are being attacked or challenged then yes, say or do something. Stand up for someone who is being picked on, abused, or devalued. However, do not say anything if you do not know anything.
Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools speak because they have to say something.
Scott's MS Life 