Tug of war, Angel versus devil…

Previously, I wrote a blog on the topic of toxic people, focusing on seven types of these noxious individuals. Since the release date of the blog, I have found that some people do not fit neatly into only one category or in a specific grouping. Sometimes, they are a smorgasbord of toxicity boiling in a cauldron loaded with controlling narcissistic self-importance with a smattering of jealousy. These poisonous people can often be marinated in drama smeared with a dash of exaggeration.

For our health, we are responsible for weeding through and finding tumultuously pernicious friends and considering the following. Have you lost so many friends that you are eager to sacrifice your health and well-being not to lose another compadre? Between you and this cross-cohort, who has a more significant influence on the other? Do you lift them to your level, or do they pull you down and make you align with their insidious behaviors? In this blog, I will tell you about a few virulent people in my circle and how I answered these questions.

For example, I have a woman in my life named Victoria, who is massively materialistic and quite the know-it-all. She can also do no wrong. Although Vicki criticizes those who use profanity, she sounds like a sailor on leave moments later. I see various caregivers throughout the weeks, and Victoria is here enough that I understand her confusing cognitive concerns. Vicki got on my schedule to help, yet I had to decide whether this relationship was positive or negative for her or me.

If you are keeping someone like Victoria in your friendship quiver, answer some of the questions mentioned. Does this person put you in an awkward position where you must contemplate going against your beliefs? Are your health concerns threatened or at risk because no one has considered your ailment or issues? Do you have a stronger pull on them than they do on you, trying to make them better people?

I kept Victoria in my life because I have a greater pull on her than she has on me, not to mention she usually helps me weekly. When she and I converse, I sprinkle kindness and compassion into all topics to ensure she walks away with no negativity from me. Sometimes, Vicki uses a bitter barb towards others, and my response is some positive affirmation slathered with benevolence. My positive personality will never back down and always shine over her caustic, cloudy charisma, like the sun radiating after a rainstorm.

There is my friend Jack, who has changed significantly and has become toxic in various ways. Fifteen years ago, we met, and he began helping me in multiple ways, like driving me to doctor’s appointments. Jack had done more for me in the first few months than anyone else did for me in many years. However, in the last twelve months, he has exhibited highly vicious behavior towards me after recently going through a divorce and being left alone. I tried to make him understand, but alas, for my health, I have severed the ties of our irreparable friendship.

Jack, who is in his late 60s, is extremely stubborn and unwilling to accept the opinions of others, whether right or wrong. With every visit, the vicious verbal sparring arose quickly like the conflagration of a cardboard factory. Although we had been friends for so long, I no longer had an influence on him and no ability to show how the opinions of others were valid. This situation reminded me that my health is more valuable than our friendship, so I removed the cancerous cohort from my friend list.

It is extremely difficult to purge a poisonous person who has been an exceptional friend for a long time. A confidant who has helped you immensely and made an unquestioningly beneficial difference in your life is hard to ditch. I took the straightforward approach, deciding to be an adult and writing him a heartfelt letter explaining everything. It was a challenge, but I had to remind myself that my health must come well before any friendships.

On the other hand, there are a few toxic people in my life that I have decided to keep around. The positive facets of our friendships outweigh the negative aspects, as I have a stronger pull away from the dark side. However, for our relationship to continue, I cannot and will not be the only one to consent to the ideas of others. I must always put myself first and tell them it looks like today is not your day, and we will do my thing this time.

Friends come and go, but the importance of your health remains the same.