Me in a nutshell… 

People often pose queries about the nutshell in me and my multiple sclerosis and wheelchair life. I gladly answer such inquiries as questions are the only way to learn and get the facts over fiction. The alternative is my fear that people will assume and eagerly spread these untruths, giving MS even more of a bad name. This blog entry is a good time for a question-and-answer session to help my readers understand me. Please be aware that these responses are mine alone, and no one should compare me to any other MSer or wheelchair user. These are the most common public questions people ask me and others with multiple sclerosis. 

Why are you in a wheelchair? I am in a wheelchair because I love the accessible parking and bathrooms that ambulatory people usually occupy. The honest answer: They diagnosed me with multiple sclerosis in October 2001, severely and negatively affecting my legs since 2012.

Will you get better and return to how things used to be? There is no known cure for multiple sclerosis, nor is MS contagious or a death sentence. I plan to live my life to the fullest, something I did not do for the first decade and a half, completely losing my thirties and half of my forties.

How did you feel the first time you went public with your wheelchair? I was ashamed and embarrassed, and I felt everyone was staring at me and judging me as if my picture was on a wanted poster because I had robbed a bank. However, that is no longer the case as I move freely in and out of public spaces with mild inconveniences from others.

What are the frustrations of your day? There are disheartening developments in my MS and wheelchair day quite frequently. The most significant issue is how every part of my day is significantly slower, making rushing or spontaneity as likely as seeing a live purple polar bear. Although anything is possible, I doubt I will see a bear of the plum polar variety anytime. I usually feel like a turtle on his back, often struggling to make simple moves.

Are people compassionate or insensitive to you and your wheelchair? People are on a kind spectrum of life that says there are good people, bad people, and everything in between. You have those who are kind and sympathetic and always willing to help. However, some individuals hate themselves and want to tear down others to make them feel as bad. I let negative comments roll off like water off a duck’s back and use my reply to say something positive or smile.

How do you feel about people touching your wheelchair? It depends solely on the purpose or the person, whether a stranger or friend touching my chair. I saw a stranger acting impatiently and pushed my friend Jim away from the grocery shelf as Jim lingered for ten seconds too long. I do not hesitate to speak up and even run over their toes.

What are some things you used to take for granted that are more difficult now? Moving through life, I did not have to think before my seated situation started. Without thinking, I could quickly wake up, get out of bed, get dressed, and put on shoes without help. Now I have to think and plan where I am going and ask questions like, is it accessible? There are so many questions I must answer pre-event now.

Do strangers ever stare at you or ask you strange questions? Some people stare, but I smile at them and say hello, sometimes sparking conversations. I occasionally get odd questions, but I do not mind, as it is better to ask and not assume. It is better to spread facts and not falsehood. 

Do you get mad when you see ambulatory people being lazy? Occasionally, I have a few things, like how some individuals shuffle and do not pick up their feet. Although these people can walk normally, they shuffle their feet like downtrend zombies. It drives me bonkers, but I keep it to myself and say nothing when I see or hear it.

How do you feel when someone says you’re an inspiration? If you meet me on the street and instantly tell me I am an inspiration without knowing me, that is simply pandering. I am not an inspiration for merely existing; genetics does not make me an inspirational person, so give me a chance to earn that word. It makes me feel you are saying; I am glad I am not in your shoes as if I am less than.

As a person with multiple sclerosis and in a wheelchair, I hope this shows I want respect like everyone else. I do not wish to be treated with kid gloves or talked down to like a kindergartener trapped in an adult body. You may use your legs to ambulate, but I use my arms to propel me through life and want equality. People with disabilities worldwide want understanding, compassion, and, most of all, respect.

I use a wheelchair. It is not who I am. It is just how I get around.